Minimalist to the Max!

I am purging - not food...  My house.  I have been cleaning and organizing and it feels great.  It goes too the whole immediate gratification.  Working out - you don't see results right away.  Cleaning and organizing really has become some cathartic to me.  What is my husband's reaction?  "How long is it going to stay this way?" "Isn't this how it is supposed to be?" Arrrrr...

I think the most shocked (and perhaps threatened) is my cleaning person.  Now, she really has to clean because there is no crap for her to shuffle around the house.

It's been wonderful - and the downsize - I may have to come up with a hobby once it's all finished.  Granted, it's ongoing - but the majority has been done.

Life is good in this neat hood!

I want to be a Happiness Project or a Julie & Julia

I want to have a year long project - the problem is committing or having anything to say.

Oh I have plenty to say - who is listening.

Here is what I is on my little mind today...

Organizing - have been getting better and now I am subscribing to every person's email of the day.  I will share the good ones...
Leprechaun Catchers - Who knew?

Isn't that enough?

Cajun Ear

Today I flat ironed my ear.  The top of my ear is now crisp.  At least I don't have to worry about it having frizz today.

It's all about the positive!

Life on Jill's Terms

I love tv...  lots and lots of tv...  Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me a fat person?  Does that make me a bad mom?  I am trying to restrict my kids' "screen" time - and the problem is I am not so willing to restrict my own screen time.  My oldest - NEEDS to watch his shows.  I am writing this as I have a dvr'd Private Practice in the background.  My 4.5 year old is addicted to his DS - I am lost without my blackberry.  I want them to be better than me - but I don't necessarily want to be better.  I have a good friend who doesn't let her kids have any screen time during the week.  I commend her - I am jealous of her ability to enforce.  Enforce.

Last night, I was so tired - (the weather, the binge) - I just wanted to lay in bed.  I mustered the energy to nuke some fish sticks and nuggets for my kids and against my better judgment I let the older one eat his fish sticks in the living room because I wasn't in the mood to fight.  My husband was more pissed that I let him eat popcorn in the living room earlier after I made such a stick about the rugs being cleaned.

Where is my resolve to stick to anything? To structure for my kids, to structure for myself?  To a food plan, exercise regime, even to promise to call.

I remember two of the last conversations I had with my mother.  One, was my mom reminding me I never called right back when I said I would.  Caller ID call waiting sucks.  I always called back, it was not just always "right away."  I probably wouldn't do it any differently, but at the same time -  I wish it wasn't something that she said to me at the end.  The other last thing was "don't quit my day job."  I was singing in a joking way to cheer her up.  She did say loving things to me over my life - but those were the last two - she was good at the digs.  I don't resent her for those last words. I told her I loved her when she was in the morphine induced coma at the end.  I told her how much I loved her - over and over.  They say that hearing is the last to go - and I hope she heard my words.

In late April,. my mom and I forgave ourselves for our actions of the past.  In some ways, I wish those were her last words.  I can make them mine.  Create my own truth - ha - the story of my life.

I feel so much better when I write-  why do I drop off the blogging universe when I have so much that I want to get out.

I am reading "Moose" by Stephanie Klein.  It is her memoir from fat camp.  I never went to fat camp - but the identification with her feelings and thoughts is freaky.  And yet, there is a lot of envy.  Envy of her ability to share these intimate thoughts without fear of what others will think.

Even this little blog.  I want people to read it - but not people I know.  I used to want every person to read it -but then I would blog for those people who knew me.  And then I would be angry they were reading it.  It's like my issue with Facebook.  I don't want people talking to me about things I say on Facebook in person.  Isn't that weird?  Why does that bother me so? I wonder if there is a name for that.  It can't be lurking, because they comment on it - just to me...

Oh boy.

Just watched Julie and Julia

It makes me want to blog...

It makes me want to write...

It doesn't make me want to wear pearls.

Ice Damming... Damn it!

It's not a good sign when my 6.5 year old wakes us up with these words "It's leaking in the living room."

All I Want for Christmas is...

A sweater dress.  That's it.  Sounds simple - or so one would think, but I want this aforementioned dress to look great on me.  Oh well.

I wear a lot of turtlenecks.  They are easy and cheap.  I am all about the ribbed turtleneck.  When I was 15 my father would yell at me because he felt that only gays wore turtlenecks. None of my gay friends wear turtlenecks.     Did they miss the memo from my dad about the dress code?

Today my 1st grader wanted to stay home because he was tired.  Of course he went to school, but it amazed me how he has the chutzpa to even fight me on it.  Maybe I was just more of a savvy liar when I was a kid and lied about the stomach ache.

I worked today.  I have a job where I work about ten hours a week doing marketing for a chiropractic office.  I found it on Craig's List.  What can't you find on Craig's List, that's what I want to know.  So, I was at work for my 3.5 hours.  It's so normal.  I can't get over the normalcy.  Here, I go in, do my work, pee twice and that's it.   Sounds normal.  Not what I am used to by far.  The dysfunction that took place in my last job was so extreme - I can't even say it's opposite.  That requires it's own blog.  Hell, it deserves it's own volume in a psych journal.  Of course I miss it at times,  the drama, inappropriateness, the lunch.

I love lunch.  I love to go out to lunch.  That was part of my last job, eating lunch with the boss.  In the beginning we had a huge fight about paying.  It turned into - your turn, my turn, your turn, my turn.  When I quit, he brought on another friend, who also goes to lunch.  I call it the Loser Lunch Club.  Even when I was in it. It's not self deprecating - it's fact.

OK - so here is a thought, if you are being self-deprecating - but you are stating a truth - is it still self deprecating?  How do I find out?

Probably the answer is on Craig's List.